CURSEDCLEVELAND.COM

Best known for his five lines as the comtemptible doorman in the hilarious 17th episode in the 6th season of Seinfeld, Larry Miller is making it clear in a press release that he is not dead, despite what you might have read about the similarly named Utah Jazz owner.

“While my heart goes out to those in the Utah community, I have to make it clear that I’ll be at Yuk Yuk’s in Alberta on Monday, the Funny Bone in Omaha Thursday through Saturay, and next week in Newark at Caroline’s.”

Miller’s phone began lighting up this week when it was revealed that the longtime Jazz owner passed away of complications with Type 2 Diabetes.

“I hadn’t received this many voicemails since there was talk of reprising my role of “Mr. Hollister” in the Pretty Woman Prequal. Unfortunately the project was shelved. But it would have been nice to explore the origins of Phillip Stuckey – the character made famous by Jason Alexander. ”

When asked to reflect on the owner’s death and how it will affect the state of Utah, the living Larry Miller was careful to note that since no comedy clubs exist in Utah, he’s never been there.   He went on to add, “Times are so tough these days in the industry, I have a harder time finding gigs than Michael Richards.

Miller also added that he had won as many basketball titles as the other Larry Miller and that adding a Twitter account would be easier now than it was a week ago.