CURSEDCLEVELAND.COM

CLEVELAND – Here goes attempting to put that in the correct perspective (I should use all caps, but I wont)…..

So I’ve had like, a really really good life, despite when you may hear complaining or the mention of how cursed we are and how everything goes wrong, specifically as a sports fan.  But I’ve got the best mother (and cat) on the planet earth, the best friends ever andlive in an extremely nice community.  Hulk Hogan used to find a way to dig down deep and win the main event/World Championship at Wrestlemania like every year.  Kids that I love after what seemed like a millenium of a losing journey won state titles in baseball andgolf in 2001, our senior year of high school.  Despite being luckily blessed with super nerdish/geek brain power, I chose to attend a subpar academic institution(Ohio State), due to my insane love for their football program (and drunken partying).  This was so even considering a ton of my peeps went to a much more highly respected academic school, which is known for having the hottest girls on the planet and being an insane party school (OSU still has a better atmosphere).  I was lucky enough as a sophomore in 2002 to see OSU end the long-running curse of John Cooper in the craziest, most stressful and unbelievable season ever.  The Indians, despite never sealing the deal, had some of the most fun, cool andcompetitive teams ever for almost 10 years, with some beyond incredible moments.  I was lucky enough to hit this really uber-cool poker jackpot thingy-majigy in 2006 over the internet.  I chose my graduate school based on my momThe Best Basketball Player On The Planet playing for my favorite team in my favorite sport.  What started my passion as one of the biggest sports fans on the planet was being inside a building named The Richfield Coliseum 20 years ago when a man named Michael Jordan made a series deciding shot at the buzzer in game 5 of the 1989 Eastern Conference Quarterfinals to end the Cavs’ best season ever.  I was sent out being held by my dad, absolutely crying my eyes out.  I was in the building 3 years later when Michael got us with the sequel.  I continue to live HERE instead of taking a bar exam and becoming just another dumb big shot lawyer in Illinois, Tennessee, Louisiana, etc, because of…            WHAT JUST FUCKING HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now if you are wondering how many females the previous paragraph’s complete patheticnesshas made want to be withme, please please please don’t ask.  Last night might be what spurs us on to ending the Cleveland championship drought.  LeBron James just took us all and placed us under his umbrella ELLA ELLA EH.  Now having successfully dominated the LeBron/Kobe debate, last night brings many other questions to the table:  Was that Shot better than Michael’s shot?  What should the name of that Shot be?  Thee Shot?  The Three? The LeBomb?  The LeShot?  Was LeBron’sShot/performance last night greater than what happened in Game 5 at Detroit two years ago?  Last night we’d have gone down 2-0 with 3 of the next 4 on the road against a team that might have our number, two years ago we’d have gone down 3-2 against a team who’s number we had.  How disgusting does my playoff beard look?  Are Hedo, Rashard and Dwight the equivalents of Michael, Pippen andDavid Robinson?  Should we be beyond happy the Coolest Shot Ever went in, or upset that in a 50-hour period this series just got losable and we are in a war?  Why does Mike Brown keep taking DelonteWest off of the Michael Jordan of Turkey?  Will my voice come back come for just the tip on Thursday for game 5?  If we have to go through another month of this, will any Clevelanders actually die of a heart attack?  If Mo Williams shot went in at the game 1, would that be a bigger shot than last night, and would Stan Van Gundy have committed suicide after last night?

Anyways there is a ton to analyze from last night’s affair, but we will save that for a podcast and for now we will just celebrate The Biggest Shot Ever andgetting a home split against Orlando (I just threw up a little in my own mouth).  Anyone who was not excited by what happened last night can just stay off the bandwagon, and if you somehow still like the NFL, the MLB or college sports better, its ok, we all make mistakes.  One thing is for sure, I only expected to be super stressed out during the finals, but we officially are in the middle of a war.  I simply cannot wait for the 3rd battle in Orlando Sunday at 8:30 P.M.

In closing, Rossitron had actually lost his way last night.  The 2nd half was a disaster again.  I was in shock, head in hands, using the CursedCleveland lingo and negativity of old.  I am The Cavs Kid and last night got 41 text messages, and my main Cavs partner in crime was In Argentina and without the use of his phone.  So a huuuuuge shout out goes to one of the biggest Cavsfans I know, Conor Doyle, for keeping the faith even moreso than Rossitron himself.  When I was positive it was over and our world was coming to a crashing halt with the best team this city has ever had, Conor showed off the amazing confidence and faith that I am usually known for in reassuring me throughout the 4th Quarter that the Cavs would find a way and specifically that “WE GOT THIS!”  LEbRON FUCKING JAMES PEOPLE.  I have joked around using caps when referring to Him and calling Him God numerous times, but last night made me realize something after NickP said it.  “We don’t have the next Michael Jordan, we have the first LeBron James.  GO CAVS!!!  Sorry, I couldn’t resist the caps lock forever.